Tribe/trʌɪb/noun: A social division in a traditional society consisting of families or communities linked by social, economic, religious, or blood ties, with a common culture and dialect, typically having a recognized leader.
I’ve always been surrounded by people that I call friends and I’ve always been lucky enough to have people by my side who love me and would still hang out with me, even though I embarrass the hell out of them every minute I have the chance!
As I was growing up, my circle of friends constantly changed. I grew apart from people that I thought I would grow old with and I’ve become family with people I’ve only known for a while!
It’s in our nature to search for people we click with and who make us feel as if we genuinely belong with them; our tribe!
By looking for “our tribe” we are looking for people with whom we share common ground, reflect our values and make us feel comfortable when they’re around. They are the ones we’d call at 2 am when we’re drunk and hopeless, the ones we’d laugh, have fun or cry with. They would even skip gym to go for drinks with us if we needed to talk! (I know it doesn’t sound as a big deal, but apparently, skipping gym is a huge thing for my best friend so I had to mention this!)
When we were younger it was easier for us to socialize and make friends, but the older we get, we lose the setting of forced social interaction and it’s very difficult to find authentic connections; it requires effort, authenticity, and confidence.
Finding your tribe could be a hell of a deal, but in my opinion it requires only two things!
- Do some self-reflection.
Everything starts and ends with acknowledging and accepting yourself. As we get older our personalities constantly evolve; our habits change and the things that make us happy could be totally different from year to year. Have a look around you and see what you feel is missing from your life, or what you currently have and really enjoy. Do you love going on hikes, but none of your friends ever want to go with you? Do you love partying and none of your friends are ever down to a rough night out? I’m not saying to dump your friends and find new ones for a little partying but there’s no harm in also clicking with other people whom your match with!
- Make an effort if the vibes are good.
My life motto is “Trust the vibes a person gives you”. Energy is everything, so my advice is if you have a good feeling about something, stick to it and make an effort. Your friend-soulmate could be your new co-worker or a friend of a friend. When your gut tells you that a person is worth the trouble, kick your shyness away, get out of your comfort zone and give it a try. Set a date, plan an event and watch your tribe expand!
Having a tribe is a real blessing. They are our people, and sometimes you have to go through hell in order to find the ones we truly deserve!
Right now, my tribe is the smallest, and the best that it has ever been. In your entire life, you can probably count your true friends on one hand. Maybe even on one finger.Those are the friends you need to cherish. I hope you find yours!